What I See
by KayKayBritt
Summary: The Glee Club wants an explanation to why Quinn went MIA over the summer and quit glee club. Quinn finally breaks down and tells them all the truth. Fabrevans OneShot. R&R! Rated T for language.


Quinn was silently watching the Glee club perform 'You Can't Stop the Beat' and she felt tears prick her eyes. The last time she was in the auditorium she was performing with _him_. She closed her eyes for a brief moment and he was there; looking as sexy as always strumming his guitar. After she opened her eyes she smacked her lips, then she fled the auditorium.

When she got home Quinn went up to her room and changed into normal clothes. She did like the black clothes and all but they just _weren't_ her. After, she completed any homework she had left. Then she walked over to her bookshelf. Before bringing her eyes to spot the object on the top shelf that she wanted she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Looking up she came face to face with the little white box that she opened every single day before she falls into a fitful slumber.

Tonight was no exception.

Quinn opened the small box and took out the diamond ring that Sam had given her almost a year ago. She slipped it on her ring finger before speaking.

"Why did you have to leave me?" her broken voice echoing throughout the adequate sized bedroom. She fell back onto her bed letting her eyes drift close even though it was only six o'clock. Quinn was fast asleep dreaming about _him_ in seconds.

* * *

><p>The next morning went by in a blur. She pulled out another black outfit. After slipping into that she walked back over the brown bookshelf and put the promise ring back in the box. Then she ate breakfast and went to school.<p>

Quinn still was getting used to the fact that she had to walk to behind the bleachers to meet with the Skanks. She wondered what they'd have today; cigarettes again? or some other intoxicant that would erase all of her problems for the time being. Whatever it was she'd have it, anything just to forget the pain for a few minutes would work.

Unfortunately, the moment she actually got to the bleachers none of the skanks were there just some freshman. Quinn turned on her heels and left for the auditorium. Luckily, no one was there and Quinn snuck back stage.

She closed her eyes and reminisced on her and Sam's last _good_ moment before everything was shot to hell, because of her stupid mistake.

"_Color me mine?" she asked trying not to smile to widely. _

"_I'll color you yours any day." Sam's melodic voice rang throughout the auditorium. Then she walked forward putting her hand on Sam's cheek and brought her forehead to his before leaving. _

Tears were piercing her eyes and she squeezed her eye lids tight so they wouldn't fall.

"Sam…" she whispered to herself almost inaudibly. Opening her eyes after, she noticed Rachel coming through the doors. She left stealthily making sure Rachel wouldn't hear her escaping. She went to her first period putting a blank expression on her face and acting like she could care less.

Of course, she still parted the hallways as football players checked her out, and the glee club members still looking at her like she had gone completely insane. With all the glances and not really wanting to go to her first class she skipped.

She walked out to behind the bleachers and this time the Skanks were there. Quinn wasn't offered anything new just the same cigarette that was handed out day after day. Quite frankly, it was boring Quinn but she would have to just deal with it.

Once she lit the cigarette, she breathed in then out watching the smoke swirl in front of her face. She had to refrain from choking to death. The smell was horrid and she really hated smoking. But she had to put up this façade, there wasn't another choice.

"Yo, Quinn want something stronger?" one of the others asked.

"What do you have?" she asked not really caring.

"Try this?" Shelia said handing her a joint. Quinn guessed it was marijuana and the smell grossed her out. But she took it to her mouth and breathed in then out feeling herself slowly slipping away.

After a few more breaths Quinn felt like she was high. She stood up wobbling and felt like she was walking on air. All of her heartbreak about Sam not being her and other worries slowly slipped away.

* * *

><p>Around lunch time Quinn finally felt better to go back to class. She had a killer headache and she didn't feel well at all. She took her lunch and sat down at an empty table. She was trying to eat as fast as she could. But to the former blonde's dismay the whole damn glee club showed up in front of her table.<p>

"Come with us." Finn stated.

"Why should I?" Quinn answered spitefully.

"You owe us an explanation." Santana said stepping forward.

"For what?" Quinn replied turning to the Latina. Santana then proceeded to glare at Quinn until she agreed to go with them.

"Fine, where to?" Quinn said standing up.

"The auditorium." Finn said.

Quinn sauntered across the school to the place she loves and hates. Once inside she saw a giant poster that read _Join Glee!_ She turned to exit but the other two members of the Unholy Trinity took her by the arms and sat her down in the front row.

"Talk Q. Tell us why you quit glee and went MIA over the summer." Santana snarled.

"Well, let's see…" Quinn said faking her response.

"Don't fuck with me Quinn. Talk!" Santana said lowering to be face to face with the pink haired girl.

"Fine, you want to know what made me go insane. Ask Mercedes? Or wait is that too last June for you?" Quinn spat turning her head to face her friend well possibly ex- friend.

"What? Oh…" Mercedes said looking down.

"Let's just forget a person who was a part of this so called _family_!" Quinn exclaimed, not really caring what was coming out of her mouth anymore. "Is that what we do now, I mean Matt was an exception I suppose since he wasn't exactly a big part of this but Sam was! Dammit! You people fucking suck! Let's just go on with our lives is that how it is? Let's sing mushy dumb ass fucking love songs twenty four seven because you have an outstanding relationship…" Quinn yelled looking at Finn and Rachel after the last part of her ramble that wasn't even closed to being finished.

"Quinn this isn't making any sense and you don't need to blame Finn and I for your problems." Rachel said calmly.

"Well, maybe not you but douchebag Finn I am going to blame all I want! You are part of the reason my relationship with Sam ended! You still loved Rachel Berry over here but no let's just string me along too! What the hell game are you trying to play Hudson? I love Sam…and he loved me, do any of you even know how important that is to me?" She looked at all of them taking deep breaths from yelling so much. Quinn was infuriated.

"Q, I know. You told me and San in New York you just wanted somebody to love you…" Brittany said. Everyone else just stared at Quinn blankly and waited for an actual explanation.

"What do you think all this is about then? You want a damn explanation, well here it is. _Sam is gone._ The only person who truly loved me and I loved back is gone. Do you want to know what I see every time I look at this place, the choir room, the astronomy room? I see Sam asking me to go to Color Me Mine for our date. I see the only guy who actually sung for me and because of me. I see Sam being shameless getting up there and making Bieber sound good to impress me. I see the guy who only knew me for six weeks get down on one knee with a promise ring to ask me to be his girlfriend. I see the place where I smiled so damn much when I sung Lucky with Sam. I see me and Sam together forever and right now that's never going to happen. Doing and drugs…getting high, it's the only way I don't feel anything. So don't be pissed if I'm not in Glee anymore since the memories are too much to handle. I'm sorry, okay? I miss him and that's all there is too it. The agony… the heartbreak it's just too much. So would you please just let me go?"

They all slowly nodded as she stood up and walked out of the auditorium. But it was the ditzy blonde who stopped and said the final words.

"Q, Sammy wouldn't have let you go…so why would we?" Then Quinn exited the school, before anyone else could say more.

**Umm I wrote this and posted it on Tumblr. Hope you like it. It's basically why I want Quinn say about why she has dyed her hair and such. By the way I started writing the sequel to Here Without You. It's titled Say You'll Be There so look out for it!(: Anyways for now please review this story!(: **

**~Kayla(: **


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